Sneaky Chinese

This delightfully odd story takes place on a slightly rainy day in Sheffield. It was early in the day (4:00 - 4:30) and my team leader and I approached a door with high expectations having recently started a new charity campaign (I can't remember what it was but it isn't vital to the story). What follows is our interaction with a particularly interesting old lady. The majority of the most interesting people we've talked to tend to be a bit... eccentric.


I start pitching the lady, but I'm not even half way through when I'm interrupted.


Lady: ooh yes, it's terrible isn't it. In fact I just got home, and I'm unpacking my shopping. I was in town today, and let me tell you. I just got home and I've been in town doing a bit of shopping, and well, I've lived here all my life and I was in town today actually and I got lost. Now I've lived here all my life but today when I was out shopping, I went to the market and  I got a few things sorted but then I got lost. Now I tried to remember where I went and I was looking for the bus stop but I couldn't find it. I tried asking for directions as well but everywhere I went there were just Chinese, I couldn't find anyone English. I was lost in the first time since I've lived here.

Team Leader: You're ok now though?

Lady: Oh yes, I got home alright

Me: That's good to know, wouldn't want you stuck in the city center in this weather.


I continue the pitch, but upon asking the lady a question the conversation is derailed once more.

Me: So as you can see it's quite amazing work isn't it?

Lady: Oh yeah, I know you do such a wonderful job, I remember seeing something down on Fargate in town today for charity, oh it is good isn't it

TL: Yeah, I mean that's why we're...

Lady: And I was looking around today down the market, but I got lost. Eee, I was so confused. I mean I was walking around, and I've lived here all my life, well not here but in Sheffield, and I got lost for the first time in my life. I couldn't find anyone to help, I tried asking for directions but all I could find were you know, Asians and Africans and Chinese and I'm sure they were sending me the wrong way.

TL(jokingly): Oh yeah, they are sneaky those Chinese aren't they?

Lady(deadly serious): YES! Yes they are love, you know. So, I was there, and I've never been lost before. I was thinking to myself what am I going to do, and then I found the bus stop.

Me: Ahh, that's alright then.

Lady: Well you know, you have to be careful with these things. I can't complain though.

Me: You got home alright then?

Lady: Oh yeah, I'm fine now. I got home and I've just started unpacking my shopping. Everything's fine now though 'cause I'm watching the tennis and I've got a bowl of strawberries.


That was about all I could take before giggling at this weird conversation, and my TL soon joined. All three of us were there stood at this lady's door laughing about strawberries, and I can't fully understand why, but it was fun and we even got invited back for tea and a chat if we ever felt a bit bored or needed a good laugh about strawberries and getting lost.

The conversation repeated itself and we did eventually finish the pitch but the lady was a bit to preoccupied with her strawberries and didn't want to commit to anymore charities.